Moral dilemma: Road Rage and an angry, old short man 

"EL_ULY" (uly) 10/01/2015 at 11:12 • Filed to: None

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(in a bad Katy Perry impersonation) I punched an old man, and I didn’t liiike iiiit! Yes, your friendly OPPOnaut had to drop an old man this morning. Obvious context after the jump. ( NSFW language )

It all started here

I was driving southbound on Yale St. at a normal speed when a black W211 pulls right out of W23rd St. in front of me. Guy completely ignored the stop sign.

I saw him driving towards Yale pretty quickly. I even had time to think, “no way this dude is going to run the stop sign”. Sure enough he did and of course it happened 10 min after my dashcam’s memory card filled up to the limit lol. It was too close for comfort. People cut me off every 5 minutes on my hour long drive into work. This was just too close. So, I honked my horn for about 3-5 seconds and flashed my (probably illegal) bright ass yellow high beams. He shoots me the bird and it made me giggle. Then, things got worse at the upcoming light.

We are both now on the left lane continuing southbound on Yale St. waiting at the red light. A school zone with a bunch of middle school kids crossing this very intersection. I can see him looking at me and yelling obscenities through his rear view mirror. All of a sudden, he turns his left turn signal on. There is a problem though....

There are TWO!!!! signs that state, “NO LEFT TURN EXCEPT BUSES”. The light turns green and he just stays there as everyone, including me, is honking at him from behind. Cars eventually pass so I pull to the right to overtake. I don’t know why I did what I did next, but it was totally my fault. As I rolled passed him I yelled out the window, “Read the sign bitch!”

Immediately after, he pulls out and starts tailgating me like a mad man. At that point, I made the decision that i’m going to pull over and try to talk some reason into him. I was ready to blast some logic towards him and more than anything, calm this guy down. We pull over at a self service car wash. The man, who was not armed thankfully, probably in his early 60’s and about 5’5”, gets out quickly and heads towards my car. At that point, he kicks my left rear fender hard and beats on my rear glass shouting, “get out you faggot! Come on fag boy”. I, still calm, get out and the argument goes as follows:

-Sir you need to calm way down

Fuck you asshole

-Look dude, you cut me off first and then tried to turn le...

( now shoving me back hard ) Fuck you ya little fag! I never cut you off

-Yes you did and plus, you can’t turn left on 20th St.

( he shoves me again and kicks my shin ) Yes I can faggy boy, ya scared fag?!

*at that point some lady in a Honda Pilot that had seen the motoring incident on 20th St. pulls into the car wash and is telling the man to calm down and that he indeed could not turn left on 20th St.*

-Dude you need to stop

(now taking swings at me as I backed away) FUCK YOU

- Dude, fucking stop man!

*lady asks me if she should call the police. I said to hold on one sec*

Come on you fat fag. I bet you like it in the ass you fag boy!

- Dude, don’t fucking touch me man, fuckin listen!

(he backs me into one of those vacuum stations and hits me in the right arm/chest area. I push him back then he takes another swing at my face. At that point I know he wants to harm me so after pushing away his punch, I sock him at 50% in the face and he falls to the ground)

-Dude what the fuck man?

Fucking fag! Ya mother fucking fag!

- Are you ok man? Fuck! You’re fucking crazy dude. What the fuck is your problem?

The man gets up and walks towards his car. The lady come up to me and says, “don’t worry, I saw everything for the police.” The guy drives away and I stay talking to the lady for a little bit about everything. The police were not called.

ThatEscalatedQuickly.GIF

Official worst drive into work evaaaa!

I’m a calm dude. I’ve met a couple our our awesome OPPOnauts here and there. Ya’ll know i’m always trying to keep OPPO positive. My LaLD crowd can back me up. I feel shitty about everything and regret ever honking at that fucker lol :] Forgive me please?

RazoE > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 11:18

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Chiiiiiiiiiiiingado. Had to give him the Brooklyn Beatdown, huh? Amazing restraint shown on your side. I’m pretty passive, but when you have to defend yourself, you gotta defend yourself.

Sam > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 11:21

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It sounds like the dude wanted to get punched. Maybe he thought the police would think you started it?

Chris_K_F drives an FR-Slow > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 11:21

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He had it coming.

Should’ve gotten the plate, called the cops, and slapped the guy with assault charges.

CalzoneGolem > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 11:23

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Why is it always faggot? People need to get some better insults because it just doesn’t carry the sting that it once did.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 11:23

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When he went down, I would have made sure he stayed down on the ground until the police came and arrested him. Fuck that noise, somebody attackes me I’m going to make damn sure that they get arrested for it.

Glad you’re okay though.

Tripper > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 11:23

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Jesus, what a dick. No forgiveness needed, ya should have gone 100% on the punch ;)

DoYouEvenShift > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 11:27

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He drove like a dickbag endangering others. You, and others, called him on it. He assaults you, you knock him the fuck down.

I would regret nothing, I would even be tempted to make a report, that guy probably has a record of this kind of behavior. But really, I doubt anything would come of it. But you never know, there were witnesses.

I feel your pain, my commute is very long and am surrounded by terrible drivers the whole way.

$kaycog > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 11:27

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What a crappy morning. Sorry that had to happen. *hugs and cookies*

iSureWilll > CalzoneGolem 10/01/2015 at 11:29

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Seriously... Is this the best he could come up with? Great “insult” old man.

EL_ULY > CalzoneGolem 10/01/2015 at 11:33

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lol right? It didn’t even bother me anyways.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 11:34

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God, he sounds like he’s about 12 years old mentally. Who the hell uses “fag” as an insult beyond like the 6th grade? And then kicking you car? That is a very angry little old man. He’s lucky you didn’t force him to stick around and have the police deal with the situation or he’d probably be “downtown” right about now.

EL_ULY > $kaycog 10/01/2015 at 11:35

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D’awww, thanks buddy. If you don’t mind, i’ll take the cookies before the hug lol :] Om nom nom!

EL_ULY > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 10/01/2015 at 11:36

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yeah I know dude but I was running late to work and I don’t have time for any extra anything. I didn’t take anything personally and glad it didn’t go worse.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 11:36

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Nah, ya done good.

EL_ULY > RazoE 10/01/2015 at 11:37

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Oh I had that little part of me wanting to give him a pinche vergaso. But he was old and all old looking and I was more glad that it was over so I can go to work on time.

EL_ULY > Chris_K_F drives an FR-Slow 10/01/2015 at 11:38

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Not a good excuse, but I just had to get to work and having to deal with all that something i don’t need right now.

EL_ULY > Sam 10/01/2015 at 11:39

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Yeah it’s possible. Sucks my memory card juuust gave out on my dash cam

EL_ULY > Tripper 10/01/2015 at 11:39

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lol, in some odd way, I would of felt worse than I do if I did

Chris_K_F drives an FR-Slow > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 11:40

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I’m very much a pacifist and fully believe in working things out with words rather than fighting.

I should clarify what I meant by, “He had it coming.” He had it coming when he started to assault you, not because he was driving like an asshole and using slurs.

EL_ULY > DoYouEvenShift 10/01/2015 at 11:40

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Yeah see that’s what I figured when talking to the lady. I was already running late to work and don’t have time for pressing charges and all that shit. I’m glad it didn’t get too ugly.

CalzoneGolem > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 11:42

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Then why’d you punch him?

EL_ULY > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 10/01/2015 at 11:44

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Oh indeed. It was just an all around crappy and pointless situation. I just wanted it to be over more than anything. Glad it wasn’t anything worse. I feel sorry for the pathetic and sad old guy.

EL_ULY > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 10/01/2015 at 11:45

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Not sure why I still feel a bit bummed out though. I’m way too soft lol :]

shop-teacher > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 11:46

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Wow, just wow. Glad everything is OK. For what it’s worth, I wouldn’t have pulled over.

EL_ULY > Chris_K_F drives an FR-Slow 10/01/2015 at 11:47

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I get ya buddy. It was just such a crappy situation that exploded into a pointless event. I really feel for that guy.

Chris_K_F drives an FR-Slow > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 11:48

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Yeah, I get what ya mean. It sucks that someone can be such an angry person, but at the same time he’s an adult and fully capable of learning to control himself.

EL_ULY > shop-teacher 10/01/2015 at 11:49

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Lol yeah I know but he was right on my ass.like a crazy person in a busy school zone. I really don’t know why I did it still. Maybe because he was old and assumed it was going to be harmless

EL_ULY > CalzoneGolem 10/01/2015 at 11:50

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Well, the word faggot didn’t bother me, everything else did though. Especially the whole taking swings and wanting to hurt me bit.

EL_ULY > Chris_K_F drives an FR-Slow 10/01/2015 at 11:52

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Indeed

DoYouEvenShift > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 11:54

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Yeah, nobody got hurt, maybe his old man pride. Hopefully your car didnt get too scuffed up. So really no harm done, hope he behaves a little better.

CalzoneGolem > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 11:54

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I’ll allow it.

EL_ULY > DoYouEvenShift 10/01/2015 at 11:58

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I ran and checked before he took off. No damage. Heck, our Aston porter at work hit my front bumper with a brand new Vanquish and my old wagon ended up scratching the Aston lol.

You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 11:58

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No need to feel bad about defending yourself. As soon as he threw a punch at you he had it coming. Have a rally Aston to make you feel better.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 12:00

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Holy shit.

Did he do damage to the car at all?

I think you handled it very well. And honk at him again. Always honk.

People don’t know they’re doing stupid shit unless they get honked at. I yell at my wife all the time for not using the horn.

Give him a good old 75% strength if he pulls it another day haha

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 12:00

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Yeah, especially in Texas.

gin-san - shitpost specialist > CalzoneGolem 10/01/2015 at 12:02

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Also, when it's used twice in every sentence, that also takes the sting out of it. As much as I love profanity, it's best used sparingly for effect.

EL_ULY > You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much 10/01/2015 at 12:06

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Thanks buddy. Yeah the swings towards me was what bothered me the most indeed.

I’m going to show that picture to my service manager. We get at least 3 Astons a month with front spoiler damage. We call them getting “ninja turtled” because of how they look afterwards. Like an angry turtle mouth.

The thought of a rally Aston is mind boggling, but rad at the same time

CalzoneGolem > gin-san - shitpost specialist 10/01/2015 at 12:07

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You cookie munchin’ son of a bath mat!

Brian, The Life of > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 12:07

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Welp, last time Old Man Rage pulls that shit at least.

EL_ULY > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 10/01/2015 at 12:07

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Lol noted sir :] I quickly checked for damage before he took off. It was all good.

Brian Silvestro > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 12:08

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LOL

EL_ULY > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 10/01/2015 at 12:12

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indeed. I’m positive that at least 80% of people have a gun in their car truck.

“The purpose is to shoot potential thieves or if these damn N****rs get too close LOL!” - My old boss

what usually happens though is casualties after road rage incidents

EL_ULY > Brian, The Life of 10/01/2015 at 12:14

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probably not, unfortunately

EL_ULY > Brian Silvestro 10/01/2015 at 12:14

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yeah kind of :]

wiffleballtony > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 12:17

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Wow, who pissed in his cheerios?

Klaus Schmoll > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 12:33

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I feel you! Peanut cookie?

RallyWrench > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 12:35

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Cookie Justice is always forgiven. You did a hell of a job staying calm until forced to act. Might want to keep an eye out for the dude’s fucker’s car on your commute moving forward, he seems like the kind of crazy person to hold a grudge.

EL_ULY > wiffleballtony 10/01/2015 at 12:36

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Lol who knows man :]

EL_ULY > Klaus Schmoll 10/01/2015 at 12:36

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EL_ULY > RallyWrench 10/01/2015 at 12:43

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Lol, everyone at work was all, “ Fuck that, I would of beat his ass, your such a pussy, if he was black, I would of just shot him!, etc. etc.”

ESSSIX GmbH - Accountant/Wagon Thumper > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 12:43

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Fuuck. I hate absent minded drivers (75% of the people on the road, if not more)

All in all I would say Im an aggressive driver, but I dont like wasting time so I never say anything to anyone, usually... Once this lady pulled out of a side street right in front of me. I was going 45, and she having just entered was clearly not up to speed, so to save gas, and brake pad life I effortlessly I crossed the double yellow and carried on (I only do this when there’s no one in oncoming!!). When she caught up at the light shes screaming at me explitives and all. I hung half of my self out of the window and yelled “Ma’am! Did you not see me before you pulled out on the main road?!?!” She continues yelling, And I asked again “Did you not check before pulling out on to the main road?” She quit shortly there after.

I always avoid using bad language when I’m angry, that helps keep me calm, and the other person quickly realizes how dumb they’re being. Also it helps that witnesses, if any, will say that the other person was being an animal cussing and such while I was not.

Bad language its a form of escalation during a confrontation, so unless you’re purposefully looking for a fight dont use it. Side note, It floors me when ever I hear cops cursing in the line of duty, for the previous mentioned reason, and because a peace officer with a potty mouth is counter productive and an oxymoron.

ESSSIX GmbH - Accountant/Wagon Thumper > CalzoneGolem 10/01/2015 at 12:45

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Rico > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 12:49

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Why would you even let him touch you and not swing on him? Sorry man you kick my car I’m coming out swinging like Tyson, I don’t even want to reason with anyone once they start that bullshit.

EL_ULY > Rico 10/01/2015 at 12:50

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Lol yeah that ticked me off as much as the swings at my face. My poor wagon didn’t do anything to the guy. No damage though. I checked before he ran off

EL_ULY > ESSSIX GmbH - Accountant/Wagon Thumper 10/01/2015 at 12:55

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Once he was charging me hard is when I started going full Samuel Jackson lol. Still though, I agree with you. I hardly ever say those things and I’ll try and hold my expletives even more than I do now.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 12:56

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punching isn’t really my thing, he probably would’ve found himself on his ass without knowing how he got there due to a counter from one of those punches.

Judo life.

Glad there’s no damage. But seriously, don’t not-honk because he went psycho, he still needed to be honked at

CalzoneGolem > ESSSIX GmbH - Accountant/Wagon Thumper 10/01/2015 at 12:57

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Tripper > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 13:00

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Probably because he was an older guy, had you gone 100% you could just remind yourself that he is an angry old bigot, then feel all better.

I’ve only been in a serious physical altercation one time when I was in college, a guy spit in my face, I popped him as hard as I could, broke two of my knuckles and his nose. It felt fantastic.

EL_ULY > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 10/01/2015 at 13:01

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Agreed! I not like the dudes here at work saying they would of basically killed the guy.

EL_ULY > Tripper 10/01/2015 at 13:03

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holy shit dude, I would of done the same thing as you in that case.

RallyWrench > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 13:04

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Because being a reactionary racist is the best way, right? Fucking people. I have a guy here who talks like that, and just being in the same building as him pisses me off. You done good.

Snacks on, snacks off:

Tohru > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 13:07

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Should’ve swung 100%. Folks like that bully and are aggressive like that because nobody pushes back.

ESSSIX GmbH - Accountant/Wagon Thumper > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 13:09

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Yea, you did well, cause by the time you were reciprocating it was clear he wanted a peice of you regardless. Was this your first time? lol

EL_ULY > RallyWrench 10/01/2015 at 13:09

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I’ve learned to just ignore them when they say those things. Too many of those type of dudes wherever I’ve worked.

I am going to save that image for future use lol. BEST VIDEO EVER!!!!

EL_ULY > Tohru 10/01/2015 at 13:13

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very true, but I just couldn’t

CaptDale - is secretly British > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 13:14

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Man I don’t understand people that do that. I mean he wanted to turn, why even bother follow you instead of not just making the illegal turn. I am with you, once he hit me, I would have hit back. Asking for it at that point.

EL_ULY > ESSSIX GmbH - Accountant/Wagon Thumper 10/01/2015 at 13:15

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Kind of. I got jumped one time in high school by like 8 dudes for my cheap watch. I didn’t win believe it or not lol!

EL_ULY > CaptDale - is secretly British 10/01/2015 at 13:16

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Yeah by that point i kind of had to, even if it was a restrained swing. Just a bummer all around.

wiffleballtony > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 13:19

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Maybe he just realized Matlock isn’t still running.

ESSSIX GmbH - Accountant/Wagon Thumper > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 13:20

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Wow, what pussys. Least your alive.. Also now Im confescating all things of value my kids may bring with them to school. And in stead of a back pack they will get a leather belt..which can double as a flail! Fights now a days seem way more raw than they use to..or is it just me?

CaptDale - is secretly British > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 13:25

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Yeah I would be bummed about having to hit someone too. It’s just never a thing I like to do, but when words fail and they attack first. There really isn’t much left.

EL_ULY > CaptDale - is secretly British 10/01/2015 at 13:39

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yeah. I know the dude could care less but I feel sorry for him

shop-teacher > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 13:45

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We do crazy things sometimes in the heat of the moment. Happens to the best of us. Although it’s stories like this that make me wish my wife would chill out, and stop honking and yelling so much :)

EL_ULY > ESSSIX GmbH - Accountant/Wagon Thumper 10/01/2015 at 13:45

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Lol old school! They may seem more violent because of more coverage, but straight up kid on kid homicides are up for sure

EL_ULY > wiffleballtony 10/01/2015 at 13:45

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lol that show was so boring :]

EL_ULY > shop-teacher 10/01/2015 at 13:49

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Lol oh man :]

shop-teacher > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 13:51

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Fortunately she’s mellowed some since we had kids!

EL_ULY > shop-teacher 10/01/2015 at 13:54

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noted , my wife has a bit of a short fuse, and that’s when she not driving lol :]

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 14:01

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best part with Judo, it completely ends the scenario by putting him on his ass without killing him.

And if I wanted to wait for cops, I switch to a ground pin.

He’s not going anywhere.

EL_ULY > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 10/01/2015 at 14:06

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Yeah someone was saying to keep him down til the police arrive, especially with a witness. Ain’t nobody got time fo dat, tho. Judo sounds rad actually

shop-teacher > EL_ULY 10/01/2015 at 14:28

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Does she also yell at other drivers when you’re the one driving? That’s my favorite move!

EL_ULY > shop-teacher 10/01/2015 at 14:31

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oh yes! lol

pip bip - choose Corrour > EL_ULY 10/02/2015 at 03:25

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should have kicked him when on the ground!

EL_ULY > pip bip - choose Corrour 10/02/2015 at 08:41

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Right in the plums!

pip bip - choose Corrour > EL_ULY 10/02/2015 at 08:55

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go for the throat.

not much they can do , if they’re struggling for breath.

Your boy, BJR > EL_ULY 10/08/2015 at 11:36

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He’s going through a lot. Being the age he is, his weiner probably stopped working. They generally is a recipie for angry old man.

EL_ULY > Your boy, BJR 10/08/2015 at 11:52

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lol!!!! Oh man. Hopefully they make some sort of Viagra App for that in the future.